In what could be described as governmental overreach, the U.S. administration has included a “podcast restraint” section in its proposed $2 trillion infrastructure bill that was unveiled yesterday.
“Enough is enough,” declared Deborah Rode, newly confirmed Secretary of Listening, who observed: “There are over two-million podcasts in the market today. If you were to stack them end-to-end, they would reach halfway to Saturn.” Misguided as that analysis might be, Rode underpinned her statement with a commercial reality. “Everybody in this country has a box mattress by now. That’s one area of infrastructure we don’t need more of.”
The pending legislation has met with mixed reactions. “Good! I’m already paying a fortune by subscribing to podcasts,” noted one listener in Buffer, Iowa.
Some observers predict an unprecedented rush into podcast creation before the infrastructure bill is made law. “My god, every person in the country is going to push out a podcast while they can,” wailed Kara Yeti, who recently received a surgically implanted RSS chip to keep up with her feeds.
A recent consumer survey by Tesla Research revealed that over half of Amish Americans have considered renouncing their traditional lifestyle to become podcasters. That wouldn’t add much to the glut of content, but still.
The infrastructure bill is expected to meet partisan resistance in Congress and social unrest on the street, as the activist group Proud Moms is planning a demonstration against what its members call podcast cancel culture.