BREAKING NEWS: Apple shares plans to a create a podcast for every celebrity on Earth

In an unusual move, Apple Podcasts announced a radical change in its approach. Rather than wait for the world’s celebrities to decide that they want to join the podcasting bandwagon, Apple has proactively moved to create a show for every single one of them. RAIN News spoke with Apple representative April Everfirst, who gave us this credible and 100% accurate statement:

“We’ve been overwhelmed trying to keep up with all of the celebrities who want to launch podcasts. It just seemed prudent to get ahead of the demand.”

The spokesperson gave us a sneak peak at some of the podcasts it is developing for the celebrity world. Here are some of the shows the RAIN News staff is looking forward to:

ASMR Sessions with Drake: The chart-topping rapper takes his monotone rhymes to a new field in this weekly show.

The Lens Flare I Loved: In each episode, director J.J. Abrams offers fans a behind-the-scenes look at some of his most iconic shots. Stars from Cloverfield, Armageddon, and Star Wars: The Force Awakens will drop by to talk about getting accidentally blinded on set.

The Great Screen Robbery: The true crime podcast world will be rocked when A-lister Amy Adams begins her investigation into how and why she has never been awarded an Oscar.

Cereal: NPR veteran Ira Glass explores the history of the breakfast staple, with unexpected and heartwarming glimpses into the everyday American kitchen.

Skeptics may see this as an aggressive and uncharacteristic step for Apple. Everfirst said that some celebrities were surprised to find that they suddenly had a podcast with their name on it, and that some were dubious.

“Some stars told us that they aren’t interested in podcasts,” the rep said. “To each of them, we’ve had the same response: Give it time. You’ll thank us eventually.”

Anna Washenko

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