This is must-listen April Fools audio. Below, we take the liberty of offering two transcriptions of the ancient ads as inducements to listen at the source.
The Spice Route: “Every week a curated selection of spices and ingredients sourced directly from Portuguese trading partners in the Portuguese Maluccas arrives directly at your door, pre-portioned with a recipe card written in the vernacular. No market; no haggling; no scurvy.” LISTEN
Henry’s Razors: “Henry’s Razors are made from the same dependable steel used by Henry the Eighth’s own royal executioner. A blade with a proven record, gentlemen. A blade that knows its purpose. Sharp enough to define an edge that says ‘This is a man who has his affairs in order. Available now from all good blacksmiths. Order now, and Henry’s Razors will throw in a complimentary leech.” LISTEN
Listen HERE.
